Alive
by orangefish2
Summary: This story is about Jemma coping with the events of the season finale and how I think their relationship will change after Fitz's confession.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first-fanfic ever, so please let me know if you liked it. I'm open for criticism :)**  
**And I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, but English is not my mother tongue. (you have been warned xD) **

Also, I'm sorry for any format errors that may have occurred. The recommended double-spacing confused me a little bit.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of Shield and the characters in my story.**

The first few paragraphs are not important, I just did a little research of what happens /could happen to the brain when the oxygen supply is cut off. (I was just interested of the possible consequences, so this is a short summary of what I found online)It is not necessary to read though.

* * *

Within five minutes after your oxygen supply has been cut off, brain cells will begin to die. The condition you will find yourself in is called cerebral hypoxia and refers to the deprivation of oxygen to the brain, although your blood flow is still symptoms of a mild form are poor judgment, memory loss and a decrease in motor coordination.

When the deprivation of oxygen has lasted for longer periods of time, you can suffer from seizures or even lapse into a coma. In extreme cases it can cause brain death, where there is no measurable activity in your brain.

In your unconscious comatose state you are unable to perform any voluntary actions and others will not be able to wake you. If you regain oxygen supply, you may recover enough to wake up, but due to the dead brain cells, brain damage is most likely to have occurred.

Your body will probably be transferred to an intensive care unit, put on ventilator in a neurosciences centre. Chances are that the patient may require drugs to support blood pressure and the heart rate as well as medication to prevent seizures.

The unconsciousness is a possible indicator of the degree of damage. The longer someone finds himself in an unconscious state, the higher are the chances of brain death. And even if you are able to regain consciousness, neurological abnormalities such as amnesia, personality regression, hallucinations, memory loss, muscle spasms and twitches may persist. (Although they will probably resolve after some time).

* * *

Although Jemma knew that Fitz had been lucky to be treated by a medical team straightaway and his chances for recovery where as good as they could be under the given circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She just couldn't.

She wasn't able to forget the look on his face when he pushed that button. How his eyes were glimmering from tears and how his lips twitched into a soft and loving smile.

She felt her legs shake and had to sit down to prevent her from losing her balance. The floor was cold, but she couldn't get herself to stand up again.

"_That's why you're taking it. You are a better swimmer anyway."_

He had told her with such a certainty. As if dedicating his last breath to her was the most ordinary thing to do.

Tears found the way down her cheeks and she was holding onto her knees. She knew that she would have to go in there at some point, but for now she found herself unable to get up. She didn't even try to look through the glass, afraid of what she'd see.

_What are you doing? Your best friend is comatose, because he sacrificed his life for yours and all you can do is lie on the floor like a useless potato. If you were in his position, you'd appreciate company…_

Due to the low level of brain activity, chances were very low that he'd be able to hear her anyway, she thought. Of course, she didn't know for sure. Maybe... just maybe he was aware of his surroundings. And then he'd probably wonder where she was…

_Oh bloody hell_, she thought. She couldn't take this any longer.

_Get a grip._

But just as she was about to open the door to his room, a member of the medical team that was taking care of Fitz walked down the aisle in her direction. Her hand was already on the handle, but she didn't push it down. She waited… postponing her action once again.

"Koenig said that your team is approaching. They'll land any minute now. "

She nodded, letting go of the door handle and breathing out a relieving breath. But before heading to the landing field, she forced herself to look through the glass.

And when she saw him, so pale and unmoving, silent and lifeless, she felt like throwing up right there on the floor. As she looked through the door, she caught a glimpse of her own reflection. And though the sight of Fitz lying motionless in a bed surrounded by a bunch of medical devices had already scared her, the look of her own face staring into his room had made the situation even worse.

"_I couldn't live if you didn't."_

"_Well, I feel the same way."_

In that moment she realized how true her words had been. For so long she had been part of this team, that she seemed to have forgotten what it was like to be all by herself. She couldn't remember the Jemma before Fitz came into view and a few days ago, that fact wouldn't have bothered her at all. But now she only wondered if there would ever be a Jemma without a Fitz again. She had spent almost every minute of every day with him, not realizing how much he really meant to her and how much her life depended on him.

_You made one of the big mistakes in life. You took him for granted. And now that he's gone he will probably never know how much he means to you._

Quickly, she turned away from the door pushing back her thoughts. The team is going to be here any minute, she thought just as she heard a loud roaring noise down the hall.

As she arrived in the landing field the plane was already powered down. She waited in front of the cargo hold to greet her team and wondered what she should tell them.

She couldn't even process the reality herself, how was she supposed to make them understand?

That was the only thing she kept thinking over and over again until the cargo ramp of the plane opened.

_His heart is still beating, just barely, but he's alive._

_He is in a comatose state and it's not likely that he'll wake up anytime soon._

When they welcomed her, she was grateful that they didn't ask her outright about him. She needed that time to find a truthful answer…But of course they wanted to know if he was alright.

_He is in a stable condition, but his brain activity indicates that his brain is probably damaged. _

After greeting her, they watched her intently with a questioning look on their faces until Skye broke the silence.

"He's alive." was all she could manage to get out at that moment, because from there on, no good news followed.

* * *

Please review :) 

I'll upload the second chapter as soon as possible, it's almost finished.

My information of cerebral hypoxia is from these webpages: (if anyone is interested)

disorders/cerebral_hypoxia/hic_cerebral_

. /media/4500/anoxic_brain_


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, here's the second chapter of my story. Hope you enjoy! And **thanks to everybody who reviewed. **

And again, I'm sorry for any mistakes.

I do not own Agents of Shield.

* * *

Two days. That was the exact amount of time that it took her to take the step through his door.

Before that, she had spent most of her time in her room and had only crawled out of it when she was hungry. The others tried to talk with her about the recent events, but she brushed them off every time they made an appearance in front of her door. She told them that she would be okay and just needed some time.

But Skye was very persistent and after Jemma was able to get rid of her the first two days at the Playground, the hacker decided to take matters into her own hands and dragged Jemma in front of Fitz's door.

"If you can't talk to me, than tell him." she had said.

"That's just ridiculous Skye. He won't even be able to hear me. And what am I supposed to tell him anyway? "

"You don't know that for sure. Besides you need to talk to someone! Anyone! Locking yourself up all day isn't going to help neither you nor him. So just get it over with, okay? It's not.. that bad. He looks kind of …peaceful. As if he was sleeping…I'll go in with you, if you want…" The voice of the hacker softened and the girl pushed down the door handle.

"It's really not a big deal." Skye repeated.

And then Jemma walked into the room. The medical devices where beeping in a steady, yet quiet rhythm. A chair was standing at his bedside and a table was placed at the far end of the room. There were no windows, but fresh air was blown in from the ceiling.

And when she looked at him, she felt the urge to throw up again, but she forced it back. She couldn't leave him now that she has come this far. Slowly, she walked up to the chair and sat down beside him.

"See, I told you it's not that bad."

She knew that Skye was only trying to lighten up the situation, but Jemma couldn't imagine something worse. Seeing him like that broke her internally. It felt as if someone had ripped out a piece of her body. It was missing and would most likely never find its way back to her. She felt shallow and alone and desperate to touch him and she wanted nothing more than to hear his voice again.

"I like to think that he can hear us, you know. That makes it a little less awkward when you talk to him", Skye said.

"What do you tell him, when you're here?" Jemma asked curious.

"Ah, you know, just …that we miss him and that he should come back to us as soon as possible. And I told him about the Playground , about Coulson being the new director… Just random stuff I have experienced throughout the day."

Jemma felt instantly bad. It was then that she realized that she wasn't the only one who missed him and who wanted him back. She probably needed him more than anyone else, but still. He had been their friend nonetheless. Now she felt even guiltier for not being at his side. While the others had managed to show up at his bedside at least once, she out of all people hadn't. She, who was his closest and dearest friend.

_And much more_, she added in her thoughts.

Skye seemed to have noticed the guilt in Jemma's face, because she immediately tried to cheer her up.

"Hey, it's alright, Simmons. You just needed time and that's okay. I'm sure he'd understand. I just felt so useless. I wasn't able to help you and obviously I have no idea how to help Fitz. So I just thought that maybe if I helped you overcome the fear of seeing him like that, it would be easier for you... and maybe even him. "

Jemma gave her a faint smile. "Thank you."

Of course Fitz would understand, she was aware of that. The thing she wasn't sure of was why she hadn't been at his side in the first place. How long would it have taken her if Skye hadn't dragged her here? What had kept her away?

Carefully, she grabbed his hand and started drawing slow circles in it. It felt oddly cold and she tried to warm it up a little bit with her other hand. When she heard a silent "thump", she realized that Skye had closed the door behind her to give Jemma a moment alone with Fitz.

She sighed, not being sure what to do next. It felt weird to hold his hand in hers. It felt weird to quietly sit beside his bed. It felt weird to not hear him talk. He always had been so talkative, going on about latest breakthroughs in science, Doctor Who, monkeys… She always liked hearing him jabber even if it was about the most ridiculous things in the world. She would have listened anyway.

"I never thought we'd end up this way, Fitz", Jemma started. Talking out loud alone was weird, but it felt even more uncomfortable saying nothing.

"And it didn't even cross my mind that you could consider me more than just a friend", she let out a halfhearted laugh.

And then she suddenly knew, what had kept her away. At first she had been scared to see him. But now, Jemma was aware that she had no idea what to tell him. If he was able to hear her, against all odds, what should she say? That everything will be alright? That he will be as good as new when he wakes up? Jemma had never been a good liar. It had always made her feel uncomfortable and bad. But what else was there she could say if telling the truth hurts just as much as the lie?

If that wasn't enough, the fact that he considered her more than just a friend, freaked her out. Not because she didn't reciprocate his feelings. She loved him, kind of. The problem was that she didn't know if that love was more than friendship. In all these years, she had taken him for granted and never really thought about her relationship with him. She just never felt like she had to.

How could she have been so blind?

His past actions clearly indicated the way he was feeling towards her, she realized now.

Risking an alien infection to help her create an antiserum. The mug of tea that always waited for her in the kitchen every morning. Jumping out of an airplane to save her life. The smile that spread across his lips every time he talked about her . The way his face lit up when she told him that after all the recent events, they at least s till had each other. The rudeness towards Trip…

They have been friends ever since they met at the academy. They have always been on the same wavelength, at work and even their leisure time. When they talked they were able to complete each other's sentences, because they just knew what the other one was going to say. And sometimes they didn't even need to talk; a look was enough to tell what was going on in the mind of the other. It felt as if they were linked somehow and now that he was gone, that connection was somehow gone too.

So what did it matter anyway, if she felt the same way or not? It's not as if he'd wake up anytime soon. His brainwaves remained at a low, but steady level, so his recovery was still far from here.

Yet, the uncertainty of her own feelings bugged her. When a problem had occurred in the past, she had gathered all information she had needed to make the right conclusion. But now, she couldn't. This was not something she could solve logically. It was a matter of the heart. And these kinds of matters always caused her trouble, because she had never been good at using her gut feeling. Jemma was a girl of science and logic; she relied on numbers and data, and not on her emotions.

She let out an exhausted sigh.

"If you can hear me, which is most likely not the case since your brain activity is still at a very low level, I just wanted to tell you that… "she stopped talking midsentence. Suddenly she felt like he was going to wake up any minute just to laugh at her. Fitz knew her better than anyone else did and he would see right through her if she told him now that everything will turn out all right.

So she tried again.

"I'm sorry, Fitz. I can't do this. I can't lie to you. I honestly want to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but I can't. The only thing that I can tell you for sure is that once you are awake, you'll not be alone. I'll be here, right beside you, okay? That is the only thing I can promise you. I don't know what will happen when you wake up. God, I don't even _know_ if you are going to wake up. But I am here for you. And I always will be."

She squeezed his still cold hand and looked around the room. If she was going to spend more time here, she would have to decorate it. The grey walls provided the room with a great amount of depression and discomfort. A few pictures and a plant would maybe lighten it up a little. It was ridiculous, because that wouldn't change the situation at all, but it would at least keep her occupied while she was visiting him.

"And about the thing you said to me in the bunker… I'll have to be honest with you. I don't really know myself what I feel for you. I care a lot about you…really. I want nothing more than for you to wake up, to have you back at my side. I have no idea what to do with myself when you're not around."

There was no one to make her the daily cup of tea in the morning, no one willing to watch the latest Doctor Who episode with. There was no one talking about monkeys and no one to discuss her ideas with. No one was accidently burning down the curtains or getting locked outside a slide door. There was simply no one left who understood her the way Fitz had and no one who could have made her laugh like he used to do.

He was the only one who could make her feel totally comfortable and totally at ease. Just like Fitz, she had struggled with social interactions in the past, but when she spent her time with him, she never had to worry of what she was going to say or do. He understood her and was able to read her like an open book. Although her social awkwardness had become better over the years, he was still the one person, she enjoyed spending time with the most. He always had had her back and supported her whenever she had needed him.

When she was feeling alone and homesick, he would make her a cup of her favorite tea and stayed up all night to watch the British news with her. He even "walked" through the streets of her hometown online via google maps with her. Well, he sat beside her the whole time while she was showing him where she had went to school, where she had lived and where she had spent most of her time. He had listened to all of her childhood stories and had held her when she started to cry. She remembered how his hand had always made soothing motions to calm her down and how good it had felt to hide her head in his neck. His body had always been warm and she was able to feel his heart beat through his chest.

Time had gone by and she didn't even know how long she had been sitting at his bedside holding his hand and longing for his embrace, his warmth and his southing gestures. It was then that she realized that tears had found their way down her cheeks.

"You need to come back to me, Fitz. I need you to wake up as soon as possible, okay? Please... come back to me. I… I miss you so much. " The quiet crying had turned into uncontrollable sobs that only stopped, when his body tensed up in front of her. The medical devices had gone crazy and were beeping loudly.

A doctor of the medical team that was taking care of Fitz stormed into the room, ordering Jemma to take a step aside. She did, unable to stop the tears that were still streaming down her face. Her own heartbeat had sped up and her hands were shaking as the doctor tried to settle Fitz's body that was trembling uncontrollably.

Skye had appeared at Jemma's side again, trying to calm her down.

The doctor gave Fitz an injection to reduce the convulsions of his body. After a few seconds his muscles seemed to relax again and he was lying calm and still in his bed.

"It was just a seizure", the doctor said. He was aware that Jemma knew what he was talking about and that a reaction like that was common for coma patients.

She nodded, letting out a relieving breath.

The medical devices were beeping in a steady rhythm again and when she looked at the machine that monitored the brain activity, her heart skipped a beat. The wave had increased its level and stayed there consistently.

Although his cerebral activity was still far away from a healthy and normal person's cerebration, it was a huge improvement considering the last two days, where there had been no indication of him getting better.

Slowly, he was trying to find his way back to her. And when the time came, she'd be at his side.

They would fix everything that lied ahead. Together. Like they always did.

* * *

Please let me know how that one turned out :)

Chapter three will be coming soon, though it will take a few days, because I haven't even started yet.


	3. Chapter 3

That's the third chapter, I hope you enjoy. Just a little heads up before you start reading, I got a little bit carried away while writing this... and it turned out a little bit philosophic. Ok a little bit is probably an understatement^^.

This chapter has been quite a pain in the ass, as I've tried my best to describe the situation Fitz finds himself in and I rewrote it for like a dozen times. So there might be some extra mistakes in it and I am truly sorry for that. I have read over it a few times, but at some point my brain gave up. (I always changed a few things when I was re-reading it, so I decided to call it a day and to post it^^)

I hope you enjoy though, and I would really like to know how/if you liked it.

And thank you all for reading my story :)

* * *

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher has once said: "Nothing endures but change." And it's somehow true when you think about it. Ever since the beginning of time, things have changed.

The universe. The earth. And as small as we might appear to these two giants, even we changed. From microscopic small creatures that were swimming around in the sea, we were able to crawl out of the ocean onto the ancient continent called Pangaea. And as thousands of years passed, we learned how to walk and found a way to communicate with each other. We developed a script, to share our thoughts with later generations.

To put it in a nutshell, we changed. A lot.

And this process of alteration hasn't ended; it will go on and on and on…

As we find ourselves in this complicated world, trying to live our life as best as we can, we will be exposed to change. When we came into the world, as a small, little innocent baby, we were helpless creatures, crying for our mother to feed us, to look after us. But as time went by, we grew bigger and stronger. We learned new things, new abilities.

And throughout this process of change, we would lose some of our closest friends. People that we used to share so much with, but in the end, our ways separated and we all went different ways. But as our old friends were heading into another direction, new people would enter our lives. They would accompany us on our new way, till we'd decide to change paths again.

* * *

But sometimes our friends change just as much as we do and then, then they'd stay with us. And that kind of friendship would last and could become a constant part of our life, too. The people, who experience this, are lucky if you ask me. There are few individuals who are willing to stay as time passes by and we might lose one on the way as they'd choose a different life than ours. The few ones though, who remained at our side, these are the ones that we can trust unconditionally. The ones we'd always be able to count on, no matter what.

Leopold Fitz counted himself as one of the lucky people, who had someone they could always reckon on. And that special someone was Jemma. Jemma Simmons.

Ever since they met, they had been inseparable. They shared a bond, something that other's weren't able to understand or describe. Even for Fitz it was hard to put into words although he was part of this link. Simply put, what they shared was extraordinary.

Fitz enjoyed every little part of it, but as time had gone by, his feelings towards her changed. At first, he wasn't even aware of it, but as time passed, comprehension followed. When he looked at her, his mind captured details that it didn't before. The way her eyes glimmered when an idea had hit her or how her perfect lips twitched into that charming smile she so often threw at him when she accomplished something. Or her hair. He really adored her hair. It always smelled like lavender and he liked the way it would look like when she was frustrated. The ponytail she usually wore would be destroyed and the hair would stick out from all sides.

He didn't have the courage to tell her how he felt, because Fitz was someone, who feared change. Before he had met Jemma, it didn't really bother him, since from his point of view back then, things could only get better. And they had the day he had met Jemma. So you see why he was afraid of it. Fitz was scared to lose the girl he had fallen for by telling her the truth.

He didn't want to make things awkward, because if she didn't reciprocate his feelings, which was most likely the case, their relationship would change.

And when he had finally told her, he thought he would never, ever experience the aftermath of his confession.

* * *

After pressing the button that he thought would separate him from her forever, he found himself in darkness. He had lost all sense of time in it, so that he had to define time on his own. With every new thing he experienced, a new step began.

When the dark vanished, he was living in strange and flamboyant worlds that only made sense, while he was a part of it. That had been the second step.

But a step always added up to the already existing ones. They never stopped, they alternated with one another. So though the dark had disappeared for now, it would come back later for sure.

After some time, a third party joined. Fitz was able to hear mumbling, but he wasn't able to hear the words that were spoken, nor could he allocate them to a person.

But that soon changed too. At some point, he had been able to make out their words, but his body remained still.

Not much, just a few words here and there in between the darkness and the vivid, yet strange dreams made their way to his ear.

"I wonder what you're experiencing. I bet you're dreaming about monkeys." had said a voice that sounded a lot like Skye.

"We could use your help here. Rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D. is not something I consider 'easy peasy' as you would say it. But I get to be called D.C. At least Sky calls me that. It's short for Director Coulson. That sounds so much better than A.C., don't you think?"

"You need to come around, Fitz. We could really use your engineering skills right now, the heating system is somehow broken and it's damn cold in here. Trip and Jemma are trying their best, and I'm sure they'll fix it, but you would have been way faster than them. Besides, I am running out on gadgets I can torture Ward with. I even started poking him with a pencil I found in my bag and that had just been weird." May had told him.

"You really missed out a blissful meal today. One of the doctors who is taking care of you, made the best lasagna I have ever had. If Skye hadn't stopped me, I would have eaten the whole bowl. But after trying hours to repair the damn heating system, my stomach needed food more than anything. And it really was delicious.", he had heard Trip say.

"I miss you. The lab's really lonely without you. I never thought I'd miss your jabber. I was always complaining that it was hard to conenctrate, but it is even harder in the silence." the lovely voice of Jemma had spoken.

Most of the things he had heard during this step, hadn't made much sense to him. For example, when someone was asking him to come back or to wake up, he had no idea what they had meant. He had enjoyed their company, but never thought about the words they had said. They were just a background sound to the darkness that was still surrounding him.

His intuition told him that he belonged right there and that it was alright the way things were. He was a passive listener, someone without insight, with no idea of what was happening in the world around him.

But it didn't take long for the next step to come. He was able to feel and he really, really enjoyed that.

Mostly because of Jemma. When she was sitting at his bedside, she would hold his hand in hers and sometimes she would even kiss his cheek or his forehead. And when one of his curls would hang in his face, she'd try to shove them aside with her delicate fingers. He couldn't complain at all. T

hings only turned bad when she was pleading him to return to her, to wake up. It didn't happen that often as Jemma was able to keep it together most of the time and had talked about his medical condition getting better, but there were some rare moments where she would beg him to come back to her. At first he hadn't understood why she was so upset, because he was there, right beside her. But after some time, his brain was able to register and understand the words that were spoken to him.

The passive and confused listener turned into someone, who had been able to follow the conversation. Who was able to somehow understand, that the situation he was in, was not the way things used to be. He knew he was sleeping a rather weird sleep, where he could hear and feel everyone without being able to reach out to them.

And whenever Jemma begged him to return, he'd try to force the next step to come by.

He would try his best to move, to tell his fingers to squeeze back when she was holding his hand, but they didn't. He screamed, but his mouth wouldn't open. Nothing he tried seemed to work. But as this was only a matter of time, he waited. His logic told him that there would come a new step at some point, as is has happened before.

Every time Jemma was at his bedside, he tried to reach the next period. And somehow she was encouraging him. Sometimes with her words, other times with a simple touch or a soft kiss on his cheek.

He could hear in her voice, as she sounded more confident and happier than before, when she spoke to him.

"Your brain activity is getting better every day. It's simply a question of time now, then you'll be back. Can't wait to hear your voice again, it has been ages. Well, ages is not the right word… It has actually been a little over a week, but you know, it felt way longer. …Well, anyways, once you're back, you'll have to put on a lot of weight again. Because you look like a really small and thin version of Fitz. But as soon as you are allowed to eat real food again, I'm sure you'll be delighted to do so. I will make you a sandwich, you know, with my homemade pesto aioli. "

And as she had told him, it didn't take him long to take the last step out of this weird sleep he had been in.

When his hand moved for the first time, he could hear her gasp beside him. She squeezed his hand back and was saying his name a few times.

When his eyelids fluttered open, he was blinded with a bright, white light so that he closed them iagain mmediately. He heard rumbling and the hand that had held him moments before, was gone. But only for a second, because she was at his side just instants later.

"I switched off the light; you can open your eyes now", she said.

So he tried again and this time, he was able to keep his eyelids open. He was not really able to see clearly, as his vision was blurry. It took some time to adjust his vision to the room, even though it was dark. But after a few minutes, he could finally, finally see her. His Jemma.

She was watching his every move, her gaze fixed on his intently.

He then took in his surroundings, trying hard to focus on objects that were further away, as his vision still hadn't come back completely.

The room he found himself in looked like a hospital room. He was connected to a few medical devices that were beeping silently. He only recognized their sound now and wondered why he didn't hear them before. He could make out a plant that was put at a table in the room and a nightstand right beside him where a stuffed monkey and a picture of two smiling figures were placed. It took him some time to figure out that the two people in the picture were him and Jemma. They were standing in a lab, holding a case with small little robots in their hands. He didn't know when the picture had been taken and why they presented these machines to the camera.

His body felt heavy and his limbs felt numb. It was as if his legs weren't even connected to his body. His head was dizzy and everything around him was still in a light blur. He looked back up at Jemma, who was glaring at him hopefully.

He tried to speak, but only rasping sounds escaped his mouth. At his fifth try though, he was finally able to get out a word.

"Je..Jem…ma." he heard himself say with a rough voice.

This one word seemed to be enough for her, because her face lit up and a relived breath escaped her mouth.

And suddenly she was all over him and crying into his neck. Kissing his cheek, his forehead, his nose and she even gave him a small peck on his lips, before someone pulled her away. His lips tingled from the sensation her mouth had created in those milliseconds where her lips had covered his. He smiled goofily as a foreign figure was standing in front of him.

"Dr. Simmons, give that poor boy some space, he just woke up." It was an older man, about 50 years old.

Jemma's face had turned a bright shade of red while the man raised his deep voice again.

"My name is Dr. Litty and I am part of the med-team that was taking care of you. But first of all, I need to know, if you remember everything correctly. What's your full name?"

"Leo…pold…. Fitz", he whispered, trying to ignore the burning in his throat.

"Alright. What is the last thing you remember?"

The last thing he remembered? Oh right, he was in a hospital bed. Something had that didn't turn out well.

But what had it been?

He was closing his eyes, trying to remember.

He knew it.. He just had to think harder.

His mind was working at full blast, when Jemma took his hand in hers and squeezed it softly.

"It's okay Fitz. Take your time."

Time…running out of time…and Water? Yes, water. It had definitely to do with water.

And oxygen. Yes, that felt right too. What else was there? There were only pieces and he was trying his hardest to put them back together.

He opened his eyes again only to see Jemma once again staring at him. And he couldn't help himself but to think about the kisses she had given him just moments ago. Her lips had been so soft and he wondered if she'd do it again, if he'd ever feel her mouth pressed against his the way he had always imagined.

And then reality hit him. Like a big, strong slap in the face.

The box. Under water. Ward. Jemma's body trembling against his, crying into his embrace. The few details he remebered added up to one another and his mind was able to recreate the moment.

"_Why would you make me do this, you're my best friend in the world?", she had asked._

"_Yeah, you're more than that Jemma."_

"_And I didn't have the courage to tell you…So please… Let me show you."_

He looked into Jemma's eyes and tried to find something, anything that would tell him how she felt towards him. Any indication…Because if she didn't reciprocate his feelings…. things would change between them.

"Can you…remember…anything?", she asked hopefully.

He swallowed, but then it hit him. She already knew how he felt towards her, didn't she? He had told her in that pod. If she didn't feel the same, things would turn awkward all the same. It didn't matter what he'd say, things would start to change. And she had kissed him…

He mustered all his strength in is body to squeeze her hand back. He gave her a weak smile and whispered a faint: "Yeah". He felt the heat go up in his cheek, as she smiled back at him softly. His heart sped up in his chest and one of the monitors started to beep louder.

For once, he couldn't tell what was going on in her mind. He didn't think of it long, though, as he felt her mouth pressed against his own once again. This time a little bit longer. He couldn't really respond to it, because his motor skills were limited and he had put all the strength that was left in his body into squeezing her hand. So he just lied there enjoying her lips against his.

It wasn't a long kiss and he felt her pull away after a few seconds, but right there he felt as happy as he could be after waking up of a coma.

After he had looked into her flushed face, his pain and tiredness got the better of him and he drifted off to sleep again. But this time, it wouldn't take him that long to wake up again. This time he wasn't dreaming about strange, colorful worlds. This time, he dreamt about her.

Change.

It will always be there, waiting to turn our life upside-down and when we think that we regained normality, it will appear again to turn everything around once more. But who says that it has to be bad?

If we are able to adapt to these alterations of time without mourning over the past times ever so often, we have understood the concept of live.

The past may have been great and should not be forgotten, but what's in front of us, may even be better. We don't know how everything will turn out. But that's what makes life so exciting.

* * *

Thank you for reading this rather long chapter again and I'd be honored to hear what you think about it :)

I can't say much about the next chapter, because I haven't started writing yet. I doubt that I can post it this weekend, because I am graduating and my final exam is on Thursday next week. But after that, I'm free till university starts (and that's in October) so stay tuned for more.


	4. Chapter 4

Seems like inspirations hits me right then, when I need it the least. And that's when I should actually be studying, but I just couldn't ignore it, could I? So anyways here's the fourth chapter, hope you enjoy :)

As always, thank you for reading and sorry for mistakes. And of course I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I just play around with their characters.

Oh and just a little heads up… Jemma is a "little" overthinking things in the beginning...

* * *

Awake. He had finally woken up.

She didn't know what had come over her, but as soon as he whispered her name, she found herself on top of him, kissing every inch of his skin. She just couldn't hold herself back.

Not that Fitz would have minded anyway, because as soon as Dr. Litty had pulled her back, he was grinning goofily.

And when she had asked him if he remembered the last time they had seen each other, she prayed to the god she didn't really believe in that he would be able to recall his memories. Their memories.

At first he had looked confused and then it had turned to a more concentrated look as he tried to put all the pieces together in his mind. But once she had seen the familiar look of realization, she was all over him again. She hadn't really thought about her actions, and now that he was back to sleep, she began to wonder if her reaction had been right.

She loved him. That's for sure. While Fitz had found himself in a coma, she had had enough time to catch up with her feelings. He was more to her too.

And while she was sure of that, she still couldn't help herself to think about the consequences that were associated with the kisses she had scattered around his face.

Jemma had wanted nothing more than to have him back at her side, awake and unharmed, but now that he was finally here, she had no idea how to proceed. She wasn't that great with matters of the heart…

Of course she had had a boyfriend, if only for a short time at the academy, but then again they haven't been friends before they decided to take their relationship to the next level. The interest had been mutual ever since they had met. He had asked her out and she had said yes. It had been that simple…

But things were different now. Fitz and her shared so much together… Years of friendship and experiences… so much that was at risk.

Jemma didn't want to lose him, not at any price. And while she didn't fear change as much as Fitz did, she still liked a few constants in her life… And he was one of them. So if they'd decide to take things further… to take the next step and things would go sour, she'd lose him for sure.

And that was what Jemma was scared of. The possibility of their relationship not working out. Because if their attempt of a happy ending failed, she wouldn't know how to live without him.

He had always been the one who had cheered her up, who had given her a reason to move on. And if he wasn't there anymore, who would be left to encourage her? Where would she go?

Because she couldn't really work with him as if nothing had ever happened, could she? That depended on the reason for her break-up with him. It would probably end in a heavy fight since both of them were pretty stubborn when it came to their opinions… but then again they are still friends and were able to solve the few problems they have had over the years…

She was deep in thought as she found herself sitting at his bedside once again, waiting for him to wake up. Over the last few days he had only been awake for a few hours since his body was still in recovery-mode and pretty exhausted to say the least. She didn't really have time to talk to him about the kisses she had given him so recklessly.

"What ya thinking about?", he murmured quietly with a sleepy expression on his face.

She looked up surprised to find him awake. "Just…stuff", she answered, not being sure if she should share her doubts already with him.

He moved around in his sleepy state, trying to find a more comfortable position. She helped him to sit back up, stuffing another pillow behind his back to keep his sitting-position upright.

"Stuff.", he repeated and as she didn't answer him he said with a smile on his lips: "Are you going to tell me what this stuff is about or do you just want to leave me in the dark?"

She was caught off guard, not knowing how to respond. She just couldn't blurt it out to him now, could she? She didn't want to disappoint him, not yet. He had just woken up and was finding his way back into life. He didn't deserve this…She knew that she'd have to tell him sooner or later, but she decided that the latter was better. Maybe because she didn't really know how to express her feelings or because she just hated to see him hurt.

"Ah, just.. you know… I was worrying about the physiotherapy. Your physiotherapist should have arrived yesterday, but he is still not here. And you know it's important to start as.. "

"Soon as possible, I know.", he finished her sentence. "But that wasn't everything, was it? You had that frown on your face that you only get when you are deep in thought over something important. That was not your worrying face. That looks different."

Ugh. She hated how he could see right through her. He could really read her like an open book. But she decided not to tell him. She couldn't bear his hurt expression. Not now, not when they finally had a moment alone without any doctors and tests.

So she smiled at him apologetically, but didn't answer him.

Perhaps he sensed my doubts, she thought as she looked at him. He was watching her face intently, with a confused look on his face.

"Is this….is this about…us?" he asked insecurely.

Bloody hell, she thought. Here she found herself in the conversation she didn't want to have just yet in the first place.

"Well", she began, trying to buy a little more time to think about her words. "I.."

But she didn't have to prolong her sentence any longer, because Skye pushed open the door of Fitz's room, carrying a bag of crisps in the one and a tablet in her other hand. At that moment Jemma couldn't have been more thankful about her habit of entering rooms without knocking.

Fitz muttered something about a "moment killer", while Skye was sitting down on another chair at the far end of his bed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds, but I didn't really get to see my favorite rocket scientist ever since he woke up. You were always sleeping when I came around, so we have a lot of catching up to do, Fitz. You know, for starters I was able to convince Agent Koenig, you know, Billy, to get you one of these "she said, holding up the tablet in her hand while she kept on talking. "You must be dying of boredom in here. I was too, when Simmons decided to keep me hostage in that medical box when I got shot, so I thought you might want to… I don't know, watch some movies, play some games or get up to date with sciency-things..."

Fitz smiled at Skye thankfully, although Jemma knew that he hadn't really been bored. All he had done the last few days was sleeping. And the few hours he had been awake were spent with either her or one of the doctors asking him questions to make out a possible brain damage. Fortunately, they didn't find any indication. His brain seemed alright, although his thinking process seemed to take longer now. It had taken time for him to remember a few things, but with a little bit of time and Jemma's help he was able to recall the recent events. It seemed that the memories of the past months were the ones he struggled with the most. He knew the important things, the only thing that caused him difficulty were the details.

"Thank you", he said nonetheless, appreciating her gesture.

"Sooooo…", Skye began "Now that we're reunited again, what are we going to do?" she asked and stuffed a bunch of crisps in her mouth.

Jemma saw out of the corner of her eye that Fitz was looking at her questioningly and slightly insecure, but she didn't have the heart to tell him now. Especially not while Skye was sitting there. So she did the only thing that would prevent him from asking more questions. With or without Skye being in the room, she wouldn't be able to endure his asking glances. She had to get out of there.

So she made up an excuse. "You know, I am pretty hungry, I think I will make us something special to eat since you are allowed to eat proper food again tonight. And I did promise you my pesto aioli. "

Jemma didn't even give him time to respond and left the room hastily.

* * *

"Why was she in such a hurry to leave?", Skye asked.

"Not really sure. She didn't want to talk to me, I guess", Fitz answered and sighed.

"About?" Skye teased him.

"Nah, nothing important, really", he lied, but Skye raised an eyebrow at him and he knew that she wasn't going to give up on that topic anytime soon. He was way too exhausted to endure her persistency, so he might as well tell her…He just wasn't sure if that was a good idea.

"Come on", she said and looked at him with big puppy eyes. "I could use a little bit of gossip. Coulson seems to dump more and more of loads of work on my desk every time I go in the office."

"You got your own office?"

"No, I am sharing it with Billy. Who keeps telling me how glad he is to have someone to talk to in person. Every day I hear that sentence at least once. It is so much better to have company, it got really lonely here sometimes And then he goes on and on about how he had spent his day. I swear, I could reconstruct the whole time he had spent at the playground. Ugh. ", she said throwing her hands up in the air. "Work's just really wearing me out. I have to go through all the databases of S.H.I.E.L.D that were on that little pyramid-usb kind of thingy from Fury to find something useful for Coulson while Billy is babbling all day long. I'm really glad I got out of the office today, I really need a pause."

Fitz smiled at the hacker who was rubbing her temples to keep the headache she most likely had in check.

"So now that I've told you all about my worries, it's your turn. What's up with you and Simmons?" she asked.

"Well…", he started as Skye stuffed a load of crisps in her mouth. "What has she told you about the things that happened in the pod so far?"

She thought about his words for a moment and then said: "Not much. She wasn't really chatty when I asked her about it. All she said was that you saved her and that she owed you her live…"

Of course she wouldn't tell anyone about his feelings towards her, he thought. Jemma was always being considerate and didn't like to give away private details.

So he told Skye what really happened down there and when he finished with his story she was shouting out a loud. "I knew it!" which made his face blush instantly.

"And what's up with her now?", she asked, playing with the stuffed monkey that was sitting at the table.

"I don't know. We didn't really have time to talk about it. Today was the first time where we had a few minutes alone and well, when I asked her what she was thinking about, she didn't want to tell me. And then well, you opened the door just as she wanted to say something."

Skye's expression changed from curios into guilty and she apologized for ruining their moment. "And I even called you lovebirds, god", she said. "I'm really sorry, Fitz. But I'm sure she'll come to terms with it. I've seen the way she looks at you and if that isn't love I don't know what is…She just needs time to get used to it. Give her that and I'm sure everything will turn out right."

He smiled at her, trying his best to keep up his smile. "I hope so", he answered and felt his eyelids getting heavier.

Just then the door opened once again and Billy Koenig appeared in the doorway.

"Here you are Skye. I've been looking for you. Coulson dropped something important on your desk, he wants it done by the end of the day", he said, his glance wandering from the hacker to Leo.

"You've probably heard about me, I'm Agent Koenig. Well, Billy Koenig. I'm so glad I finally get to have a few other people around here at the playground. It got really lonely around here sometimes. And I'm afraid I don't have time to chitter more with you, I just feel bad leaving Skye alone to all the work she has to do."

Fitz laughed as Skye huffed loudly and got up from the chair she was sitting him. Before exciting the room, she gave him the tablet she organized and made an annoyed expression that Billy couldn't see.

After the two Agents had left the room, he found himself in silence. It didn't take him long to fall back to sleep again, as his exhaustion got the better of him.

He only hoped that he would get the chance to talk to Jemma in private the next time he woke up and then he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

My inspirations strikes in weird waves and I have already started the 6th chapter without having actually written the 5th one yet^^ But it shouldn't take me that long I guess xD

Please let me know what you thought about it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Since I've been writing chapter 5 and 6 at the same time, I decided to upload them both at once :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of Shield.

And sorry if there are mistakes.

* * *

_Once we realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition, _

_t__here is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes. - George Soros_

Jemma found herself in the kitchen, preparing the food she had promised Fitz.

She sighed loudly as she thought about him. She couldn't avoid him all day long, could she? It had been exactly two hours since she had stormed out of his room, leaving him alone with Skye and a look of utter confusion on his face.

She really needed to talk to him though. She just had a hard time to decide what was worse. Lying to him, avoiding or hurting him?

But how could she be so ruthless? He had just gotten out of a coma. And he had only been in this situation because he thought that her life was more precious than his.

Jemma tried to calm herself down, taking deep, strong breaths, but nothing seemed to stop the shaking of her hands.

_He deserves to know, _she thought as she placed a glass of lemonade on a tray with the sandwich.

She then brought it to his room where she did her best to keep quiet. It didn't really work though, because her hands and knees were still quivering nervously. Relieved to see him still asleep, she slowly made her way to his bedside.

And when she wanted to put down the tablet on his nightstand, she tripped over her own legs, spilling the glass of lemonade and the food all over her sleeping friend.

Fitz opened his eyes instantly, but was still unaware of what had just happened.

"Oh my god, I'm so, so sorry, Fitz. I just wanted to put the tray with your sandwich down and now you have lemonade and food all over you." she said while trying to soak up the juice on his chest with a napkin.

He smiled sleepily at her, shaking his head amused.

She kept on talking as she picked up all the pieces of food that she had dropped on the ground. "I'll bring you new sheets and something else to wear, I just-"

"Jemma", Fitz interrupted her. "Calm down, it was just a glass of juice. I'm alright, really."

She took a deep breath, and smiled at him apologetically. "I'll be right back", she said and left the room hastily once again.

"_Very smooth, Jemma_", she thought as she ran down the aisle to organize a bedding. When she had finally returned, she found Fitz eating a tomato that had landed in his curly hair. She arched up an eyebrow, silently asking him what he was doing.

He shrugged and said with a grin on his face "What? I'm hungry and you spilled my food all over me. So what else am I supposed to do?"

She smiled back, helping him to sit straight. Her hands were still shaking slightly as she tried her best to pull the T-Shirt over his head and his broken arm. He flinched, but didn't say a word. Although the arm was healing, it seemed like it still hurt.

"Here you are", she said when she was finished. "Now we just have to find a way to get you out of the bed", she said, thinking loudly. "Might as well get someone to help us. I can't really carry you, can I? And your muscles are way too weak for you to already walk." she mumbled, not expecting an answer.

"You really don't need to", he said and Jemma looked up at him in surprise.

"You're not eating the pieces that are lying around here, Fitz. I'm going to make you a new sandwich, don't worry. But first we need you out of this bed." she said.

"No, I… I just don't want you to get someone else." he admitted quietly.

She arched an eyebrow at him once again as his face turned crimson red. He took a deep breath, before continuing to speak. "It's just that we didn't really get time to…well, talk about…us. " he murmured, avoiding eye contact with her.

_Damn it_, she thought as she tried to keep up her smile. _Now how am I supposed to tell him?_ _How can I make him understand? _

"Do you..really want to talk about this now? While you're sitting in the remains of my sandwich?" she asked.

He nodded, still not looking at her.

"Alright", she murmued, taking a seat right next to him. Her heart was beating heavily and she felt her face heat up.

"Sooo.." he started, trying to overcome the awkward silence.

She bit her lip, unsure of what to do or say next. This was the right time to tell him, there was no way she could run away now. She had done her catching up while he was in a coma, now it was time for him to catch up on her feelings.

"I feel the same", she blurted out, avoiding his gaze. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw his face lit up.

She crinkled her nose and chewed away on her lip. _And now?, _she thought_. What are you going to tell him now?_

"But?" he asked unconfidently and with a quiet, yet soft voice.

_Alright, just tell him. Like snacking off a sticking plaster. _

But then she looked at the picture she had placed on his nightstand, mostly to avoid his gaze that was now lingering on her. She grabbed it, smiling softly at the younger versions of them. They had just finished working on the D.W.A.R.F.S. that they were holding up in the suitcase they always used to carry them around in. She remembered how happy and proud they both had been of their work.

"You remember that day?", she said, not waiting for a response.

"Yeah." he mumbled quietly.

"I loved working on them. We have put so much effort and commitment into these little guys. I will never forget the day we finished them. As I will never fail to recall the day we had the idea for the D.W.A.R.F.S. I was dating Adam back then, you know that blond guy-"

"I remember him." He interrupted her, his face hardened instantly at the sound of his name. "You and him broke up that day, didn't you?"

"Yeah", she answered.

"You never told me why, you know." Fitz stated. "It felt rude to ask…so I didn't"

"He was jerk." She said, laughing bitterly. "And I was naïve…really, really naïve. I thought he was a nice guy when I first met him. He was funny, handsome…smart… and I always wondered what a guy like him wanted from me, but as it turned out, I was not the only girl he was interested in… I wanted to visit him and tell him all about our ideas for our as we called them back in the day 'mini bots'. But when I opened the door to his room, I saw him with another girl in his bed. Apparently, he couldn't take the 'cock-block' I was putting him into and needed 'a shag' badly. I ran to my room where you found me then…You came over to capture the moment, well the day we had the idea for the D.W.A.R.F.S. You wanted a picture of us to always remember. But it came to nothing, because I was crying like hell. ", she laughed, thinking back. "But you were there for me, wiping away my tears and telling me that everything was going to be alright." She smiled, remembering how caring and sweet he had been. "You didn't leave my side the whole night."

She could feel Fitz's eyes linger on her, but she didn't dare to look at him just yet. She wouldn't be able to tell him the truth if she looked into his light blue eyes now.

He didn't say a word, so she kept on talking. "I was such a mess and you cheered me up. You didn't even know why, but you did anyways. You always do. Just like that time where I felt so homesick that I wanted to travel back to the UK. I wanted to jack it all in. You were there to hold me back, holding me while I cried all day long once again. And you know, down in that pod, I meant what I said. I can't live without you, too. You're way too important for me to ever let you go. It probably sounds selfish, but I don't want to lose that Fitz. I don't wanna lose _you_…"

"But you won't. I'm right here and I always will be" he said.

She sighed, sensing that he didn't get where she was going with this. "We don't know that, Fitz. What if it doesn't work out the way we thought it would? Have you ever thought about that?"

This time, she looked him right into his eyes. He had a confused expression on his face with a hint of hope in his baby blue eyes. "We will figure out a way. We always have-"

She cut in "Well, you can't say that for sure. That is something different. Everything will feel awkward and forced. We can't just go back to square one, pretending that nothing has ever happened." She said.

Jemma saw his expression change. His face was stern and his look told her he still didn't understand her.

"Says who?", he asked, speaking up.

"I do!", she shouted back at him. "I doubt that I'd be able to…" she said, this time with a softened voice.

Then there was silence. She saw him take a deep breath to keep himself calm.

She could have used a relieving breath too, because she felt her heart furiously pounding against her chest. Why didn't he understand that she only did this to save their friendship? To prevent them from losing each other? He meant so much to her, why didn't he see it?

He was the first one to break the silence. "So you're saying you don't want to be in a relationship, because you are scared that things will go sour?" he asked.

"Yes", she sighed out, hoping to find a look of understanding on his face. She didn't.

"And that once we've broken up, you say you can't go back to just being friends anymore?"

She nodded, unsure of his intention with this summary. But maybe he just needed time to process everything she had just said, so she kept waiting.

Fitz didn't say anything after that for what felt like a lifetime, but when he did, she knew as soon as he looked back at her, that he still couldn't follow her.

"You know, I would have understood if you weren't feeling the same… But you kissed me and told me that you had feelings for me too… "

"You don't understand-"

"No, I do", he interrupted her sharply. "I just think it's stupid."

"How is trying to save our friendship stupid?" she huffed back at him, trying one last time to make him understand. Her poor attempt failed.

"It is!", he shouted back. "We don't know how things will turn out, Jemma! Not even if we stay only friends! You can't predict the future!"

Again, Silence.

For a long time neither of them dared to say a word. He was examining his hands, as if they'd be the most fascinating thing in the world and she was looking at the remains of the sandwich on the floor.

"So what now?" she asked, not being able to endure the quietness any longer.

He sighed, looking up from his hands. And there, there she saw it. That hurt and disappointed look that she had feared so much. It destroyed her internally and she tried to hold back the tears in her eyes, but they somehow found their way down her cheek.

"I don't really know what to say…" he admitted.

"Me neither", she confessed.

For once they seemed to be at different wavelengths, worlds apart.

She then got up, making her way to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

She looked back as she pushed down the door handle. His eyes were glimmering, silently pleading her to stay. But the familiar frown on his forehead indicated that he was going to cling to his opinion no matter what she'd say.

"I'm getting someone who will help you out of bed to clean up this mess" she said, leaving him once again.

* * *

Well the only reason I uploaded both chapters at once was, because I just felt really bad leaving Fitz and Jemma like that... xD I just didn't want to spoil anything at the top :)


	6. Chapter 6

_"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize _

_that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge."_  
_Eckhart Tolle_

**Fitz's POV**

Physiotherapy was hell.

Within the eleven days he had been in a coma, his muscles had diminished and he had lost a few pounds. He had to build them up again, because his body had not moved at all in his comatose state.

And now Fitz found himself in the fitness room with Trip and a physiotherapist who did his best to motivate him. The guy was named Gianni and acted as if he was an Italian, though he was originally born in Chicago. Fitz didn't like him at all, he behaved way too macho for his taste, showing off his muscles every time he encountered a women. But that was another story.

He and Jemma hadn't spoken much about their fight or how they planned to proceed. They both didn't know what to do, thinking that they were right and that the other one was at fault. Every time they had seen each other since their "talk", they had avoided eye contact and speaking with the other. She had been here a few times, to bring him food or some books to read, but she had always left quickly, which he had been quite thankful for, because if he was honest, he had no idea what to say to her.

And then his physical therapist had finally arrived and for a second he was glad that he would be distracted for a while. But then this guy had turned out to be a complete moron.

While Trip was pumping iron, Fitz was lying on the ground exhausted, trying to catch his breath again. He was strung out from training. It felt like he had walked on the treadmill for ages, even though it had probably been only a few minutes.

"Come on, Leopold, we've only just started. Get up again."

"I told you not to call me that; I hate it when people call me by my first name, especially people that I don't like."

"Aww, as if that would stop me from torturing you, little guy. And you know, your comment really insulted me. That means five more minutes on the treadmill _and_ I will increase the speed."

Fitz made a disgusted face as he stood up again, starting to slowly walk on the machine again.

"You know, if you want to spend extra time with me, you can just ask. You don't have to prolong our work out." he answered sarcastically.

"Oh, I just like to see you sweat, _Leo._ That's the only way I can endure you."

He snorted back. "Yeah, well I wouldn't have agreed on spending extra time with you anyways."

Gianni laughed a loud and roaring laughter.

"You're just afraid of losing your girl to my absolutely perfect abs, aren't you? Questa ragazza é carinissima."

"She's not my..I mean we're not…You aren't even Italian! So stop talking like one!"

"Ma, Leopold, che cosa ho fatto? Perché sei arrabbiato con me?" Gianni answered, smiling mischievously.

"I _hate_ you." Fitz growled back while he started to walk on the treadmill again. "The only reason I am not giving up is because as soon as I am back on my feet again, you'll be useless around here and they will send you back to the pizzeria you came from. And for the record, I don't speak Italian so whatever you're trying to say, tell me in English or just shut up, alright? Besides, your accent sounds terrible, even I know that Italians don't sound like _that_."

Gianni laughed again and increased much to Fitz's dismay the speed of the treadmill. He hasn't recovered enough to run, yet to even walk fast so when his legs tried to keep up with the velocity, he stumbled backwards and landed on the floor.

"You! You're going to pay for this!"

Triplett stopped his training to help Fitz back up on his feet again while Gianni was deactivating the treadmill again.

After Trip was able to put the still swearing Fitz into his wheelchair, he yelled at them:

"Could you guys at least try to be nice to each other? As if it wasn't enough that the two of you are arguing all the time, now you even let him fall Gianni? Really? Have we already stooped that low? You're his physiotherapist for god's sake! Ugh, Unbelievable, you guys are unbelievable. Should have known better... I thought Simmons was just overprotective as she asked me to look after you, Fitz, but I didn't expect things to escalate that quickly. How long have you two been training? 15 minutes?. I just…I can't even… I am not going to play your watchdog. You two are fixing this, like right now. Or I'll go get Simmons. "

Fitz huffed loudly and waved his hand furiously in the air while talking. "Hey, this isn't my fault! He made me trip! I didn't do anything, I swear", Fitz said.

But Trip just shook his head and answered:

"Don't play innocent, Fitz. You've been yelling at him all day long. You know, he's only trying to help you. And I don't know why nobody has ever told you that, but we normally don't turn down people who are trying to support us."

Gianni was back to laughing at Fitz again. "Ha, there you have it, _culo_! I'm nice and you suck!"

He still hadn't calmed himself down, so the scientist shouted back at his trainer: "Nobody speaks Italian in here, so would you please just stop, would you! Arrgh. You're driving me crazy!"

Trip looked at both of them and threw his hands up in the air. "That's it, I'm getting Simmons!"

"Noo!", Fitz yelled, but immediately softened his voice as soon as both Gianni and Trip looked at him with questioning faces. "I mean… We're fine Gianni, aren't we? The two of us are just messing around. Jemma doesn't have to know about this little incident, does she?"

Trip just shook his head again and Gianni had a look of surprise in his face.

"Having trouble with your girl, Romeo?" he asked while a big, fat grin spread across his face.

Fitz ignored the statement of the wannabe Italian and turned to Triplett.

"You won't tell her, right?" Fitz was trying his best to use his puppy eyes, silently pleading Trip to just let it go.

"I won't, but if you two aren't able to work things out, I will have to. So don't make me regret this favor, Fitz." Before Triplett left the room, he warned them once again and pointed his fingers at the two of them and repeated his sentence. "Don't make me regret this."

Fitz exhaled a relieving breath and muttered a quiet. "You won't." before Trip left the fitness room.

.

**Trip's POV**

When Agent Triplett walked down the hall, he ran right into Simmons, who looked up at him in surprise.

"What happened? You look kind of furious", she asked him.

He answered, trying to calm himself down. "Nothing. I was just… heading to the bathroom. Now if you'd excuse me.. I need to.."

Jemma looked at him suspiciously and clutched his shirt. "No no no mister, you aren't going anywhere. With you being a specialist and all, your lying skills should really be better, Antoine. So tell me, what happened? Did Fitz throw his shoes again?"

"No.. they were just arguing. Loudly. Like all the time. It's actually pretty impressive how Fitz can still yell that loud while he is out of breath at the same time. ", he laughed, trying to calm her down a little bit.

"They are unbelievable. You can't even let them alone for a minute, I swear. I'm gonna go ask May, maybe she can talk some sense into them." she muttered.

"Are you working on something important?" he asked curios.

Jemma looked up in surprise. "No, not really. Why're asking?"

"I'm just… I don't want to interfere in your relationship with Fitz, but could it be that you guys are avoiding each other?"

He didn't even have to wait for an answer as Jemma's face turned crimson red . She did, however, try to play it cool and snorted at his question. Her voice was a pitch higher than usual and she started playing with her hair which really irritated him. "No, we're alright. Totally. As good as we could possibly be. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and … be somewhere else."

He looked after her, confused and bewildered, as she walked down the hall she just came from.

**Jemma's POV**

After she had spent the whole day trying her best to avoid her best friend, she laid down on her bed, feeling her exhaustion of the day. Although Coulson hasn't given her anything important to work on yet, she felt tired.

She was about to turn out the light, when she heard a familiar knocking sound. It was Fitz. While most people had the habit of knocking three times, he only used two knocks on the door to let somebody know that he had the intention to enter.

She opened the door to find him sitting in front of her in a wheelchair with a tablet in his hand. His hair was a mess, like it always used to be before an important exam. She could clearly see his nervousness, his nail digging into the flesh of his hand as he was looking up at her.

"Can I…come in?" he asked, his face blushing.

She nodded, opening the door further to grant him enough space to enter.

Jemma didn't know what to say, nor what to do, but fortunately, Fitz started speaking as soon as the door fell shut behind him.

"You said you doubted you'd be able to go back to square one. You doubt it. That means you're not sure. That means, you haven't decided yet if you'd be able to do that or not. The answer to the question if you'll be able to do it or not, is simple. We can't tell. You'll only know when it comes to us breaking up. And we don't even know if it will come this far, do we? And if we're honest, how is the awkwardness that surrounds us now any different? We avoid each other, trying our best not to cross paths. We don't even look at each other..."

"What are you doing here, Fitz?" she asked, not knowing where he was going with his statement. If he was here to yell at her, he could come by any other day, but she was tired and needed rest.

"I'm not here to fight with you. You said that I have always been here when you were upset. That I cheered you up. That's what I'm here for" he said, pressing the tablet in her hands with the words:" Please hold this for a second." He then tried to get up without falling back into the wheelchair again. It took him some time and she couldn't tell if his knees were shaking of nervousness or because of physical strain. When he finally managed to stand, a hand still resting on the wheelchair to support his weight, he made a step forward, taking back the tablet out of her hands again.

"I've spent the last hour downloading the latest episodes of all the series we have missed out on, so what do you say? Series marathon?" he asked, taking a cautious step towards her.

Jemma didn't know how to react. She found herself frozen and unable to move. He was there… cheering her up… although he was the person who was responsible for the emotional turmoil, he was here to buck her up… And if he was there now, he'd probably be there in the future too… Maybe he was right. They didn't know what will come or happen…

She brushed off the thoughts, remembering to smile at Fitz, who was nervously glaring at her and unsure if she'd accept his offer. But as soon as he saw her smiling face, he knew that she would.

He slowly walked towards her and closed the distance between them. She hugged him back, still not saying anything. She hid her head in the shape of his neck, like she always used to when he was holding her. His body was warm and welcoming and she inhaled his scent that instantly calmed her down.

"I've missed you…" he whispered into her ear.

"Missed you too", she murmured into his neck, enjoying the effect she had on him. Goosebumps were spreading all over his skin and she could feel his heart beat against her vigorously.

His weight shifted a bit and she noticed that he was having trouble standing. Therefore she let go of him, leading him to her bed where he could sit down. He smiled back at her shyly, still holding the tablet in his arms.

"Do you…wanna watch now?" he asked as his face got even redder than before.

She nodded, taking a seat right next to him. "What do we start with?"

"How about Doctor Who? Or do you want to-" he said.

"No. Doctor Who is fine", she interrupted him, staring at the tablet in his hands as he chose the series. "I'm just gonna make popcorn and get a cable to get it connected to the TV", she said and hurried out of her room.

He yelled after her: "Don't forget-"

"The tea, I know, I know." she shouted back as she was running down the aisle.

When she returned, she saw Fitz sitting on her bed, just as she left him. She took the tablet and gave him a tray where she had prepared a big bowl of popcorn and two hot tea cups.

"You don't have to sit frozen like that, you know. This is a bed, you can lie on it", she told him as she connected the tablet with the TV.

"Erm, yeah, sure… I just didn't…want.. you know… I wasn't sure if you'd-" he stammered quietly.

When she came over to him, he still hadn't moved.

"Just scoot over, Fitz.", she said and shoved him a little aside so she could lie down right next to him.

"Alright", he whispered, crawling as far to the wall as possible. She was amused of his intention to prevent her from feeling awkward, but she positioned herself right beside him, their arms touching. She liked the warmth of his body and his familiar scent. It felt nice…well; actually it felt a lot more than nice. It was good. Really good.

The show started and she could hear Fitz breathing loudly. She tried to ignore it, but he didn't stop. It only got louder as her mind was only able to concentrate on him. Out of the corner of her eye she could see his nails digging into the skin of his hand again. A bad habit, he had acquired over time. He only did that, when he was nervous or impatient. It must have been the former, because the loud breathing indicated anxiety.

She knew that he wanted to talk about their relationship status badly, but tried his best to not put her under any pressure. He seemed like he was about to explode any minute if he held his questions back any longer, so she stopped the series and turned to look at him.

They were laying face to face now, his eyes searching hers, trying to make out what she was about to do.

"You want to talk." she stated.

"I…erm… Well…" he stammered and looked away, his face turning even redder than before.

They were only inches apart from each other. When he breathed out, she could feel the warm air on her face.

"Fitz…" she said quietly, touching his cheek to make him look at her again.

He smiled sadly at her, trying his best to find the right words.

"We don't… have to if you don't feel ready yet…" he murmured. Her hand was still resting on his cheek, softly caressing it.

"Oh we do" she said, moving closer to him. "I can't put up with your loud breathing any longer. You always do that when something is bugging you and that won't stop if we don't talk things through…"

"Okay…" he answered, watching her intently. "I…just don't wanna fight again" he whispered.

"We don't have to." she whispered back to him, her hand still resting on his cheek.

"Are you… I mean… erm…" he stammered, not finding the right words to end the sentence with.

She laughed, out of nervousness and because of his stuttering, moving even closer to him. His breathing got louder again, as he looked her right into her brown eyes, trying to make out her thoughts. She did the same, because for once it seemed that they didn't know what the other one was thinking. For once, they had to express their thoughts out loud.

Jemma felt her heartbeat increase as his eyes wandered from her eyes to her lips and back up again. And down again. And once more to her eyes…

She smiled, knowing what he was about to do and looking forward to the sensation of his mouth pressed against hers.

But he didn't. He was resting his forehead against hers, asking: "If I asked you now if you'd want to… be with me, what would you say?"

"I'd say the possibility of me saying yes is high and has increased over the past 10 minutes" she answered, chuckling at his frustrated expression.

He groaned, not wanting to hear about a high probability. Yes or No. That was what he needed to know. Right now, right here. So he did the only thing that came to his mind. The one thing she had actually expected him to do a minute ago. He ever so slowly and carefully closed the distance between them. Well, I doubt that you could call that a distance, it was a matter of a few centimeters, really.

When her lips met his, he put his hand on her cheek while the other one was awkwardly pressed in between them. It was neither a long kiss, nor a really passionate one. But it was enough. Words weren't needed anymore, as he finally had an answer to the question that was bugging him the past few days.

And Jemma finally had admitted that she was no clairvoyant herself. She didn't know how things would turn out in the end, but the start felt more than just okay. And that was all she cared about now, apart from Fitz obviously. She deserved happiness. And Fitz was the one who was always willing and more than able to give her that. She still had her doubts and her fears, but the beginning felt special and good. So who says that things won't work out? If they were lucky enough, nothing will tear them apart. And if it would, nobody could steal her the happy moments she had spent with him. Not even Fitz.

Jemma felt Fitz's body relax, his breathing calmed down. His breath was normal again. Steady and quiet. And when she laid her head on his chest, they both still grinned widely, enjoying each other's company in silence.

It didn't take them long after that to enter a world where the laws of physics didn't apply anymore and where they dreamt about a possible future together. Or monkeys with light sabers.

* * *

Thank you for reading!

The 7th chapter will probably be the last one, but I'm not sure yet.

Please let me know what you think :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Did my best to update before I'll go on vacation, so be prepared for a few mistakes :) Hope you enjoy. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of Shield.

* * *

**Fitz POV**

When Fitz opened his eyes, he found Jemma already awake right next to him.

He smiled, as he remembered the last night.

"How'd you sleep?" he murmured, looking her right into her brown eyes.

"Good" she said. "Although you know, there was someone laying right next to me who couldn't shut up the whole night. I never noticed you speaking in your sleep before. Guess you had to catch up on the words you've left out the past few days when we were avoiding each other." She teased him.

"I don't talk in my sleep. I never did. And this isn't the first night we spent together… Back then at the academy you often fell asleep in my room and you never said anything about me doing that. " he answered with a pout on his lips.

She laughed, reaching her hand out to his. "Just because you didn't talk back then doesn't mean you don't do it now" she said, pecking a quick kiss against his lips, while he held her hand in his.

The pout immediately disappeared and he was grinning widely.

"And what did I say? In my sleep I mean. " he asked curiously.

"Didn't really catch it. You were more mumbling than talking to be honest." She answered, crawling away from him, out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked disappointed. He wouldn't have minded to stay close to her a bit longer.

"Bathroom. And then breakfast." She said as she looked for some clothes to put on. "And you should too, you know. Physiotherapy starts at 9am. Don't be late."

He growled, trying to get up. Jemma rolled his wheelchair in front of him as he placed himself in it. "Can't we just hide in here? I don't wanna endure Gianni today. He's insufferable."

"Come on, he's not _that_ bad. He can be funny sometimes" she said as she finally found a T-shirt to wear.

"Since when do you like _him_?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Why did she say that? She knew he hated Gianni… Did she really like him? He tried to remember her talking with that damn bastard, but he couldn't. He had never really been present when the two of them had spoken to each other.

A big lump formed itself in his stomach and he felt the heat in his face increase as he thought about them. Alone. Talking. Gianni showing off his muscles.

But Jemma just shrugged her shoulders and closed her wardrobe. "Relax, Fitz. I don't actually like him. He's horrible and kind of disgusting. When I met him on the aisle the other day, he looked at me in a really weird way, but didn't say a word. Really creepy. I just didn't want you to skip physiotherapy. It's-"

"important to build up my muscles again, I know, I know." He interrupted her, letting out a relived breath_. Thank God she didn't like that moron. _

"Besides, when I say that I like somebody, it doesn't mean that I _like_ them. You know, the way I like you I mean." She said, blushing slightly. "So nothing to worry about, alright?" she said, wheeling him out of the door. "See you at breakfast in 20?" Jemma asked.

He nodded, rolling the wheels to move his wheelchair.

* * *

The day had been very busy, for both of them. Jemma had finally received a task from Coulson and Fitz was busy arguing with Gianni till his workout was over.

After they had eaten dinner, they went back to Jemma's room to watch the series they have missed in the past few weeks.

As she was lying on his shoulder, his hand playing with her hair, he couldn't stop to think about their relationship and the consequences that came with their decision to take the next step.

Should they try to keep it a secret for now? To see if things really worked out? That was probably a bad idea, because Jemma couldn't do any worse at lying. But what would happen if they told Coulson? He wouldn't separate them, would he? _Well he could try_, Fitz thought. Not like he'd ever do that. He'd only lose two of the best scientists that were willing to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. after everything had crumbled.

"Earth to Fitz? Hello?" Jemma said. "You're doing it again. The loud breathing."

He sighed, muting the TV. "You think we will ever be able to finish this episode?" he asked while Jemma positioned herself face to face with Fitz.

She smiled softly while looking him into his deep blue eyes. "Well _I_ _was_ trying to watch it, but you know, this guy right next to me was just really annoying." She teased him.

After he didn't respond to her banter, she asked: "What's on your mind?" and her expression changed from amused to worried immediately as she recognized the frown on his forehead.

He smiled back at her, answering: "Just… thinking about how we'll proceed from here on now."

"You mean if we should tell anybody yet?" she asked and Fitz nodded. "I think we shouldn't" Jemma said. "We should probably wait a few weeks and then tell everybody."

He nodded, eyeing her with a soft smile on his lips. "And you think you can do that?" he asked, moving closer to her. "Because…" he started as he rested his forehead against hers "My _girlfriend_ tends to blab when she lies…"

She huffed, bringing their lips together for a quick kiss. "I think I can handle it" She whispered. "As long as we get to do that in here at night" she said and crushed her lips against his again.

He could feel his heart beat and his body temperature increase, as she deepened the kiss. His hands suddenly felt sweaty and he had no idea what to do with them. Well, his one hand because the other one was still in plaster.

_God, where do I put them? Where did I have them the last time? Hands… Hands.. Okay don't think about hands. You're kissing Jemma and you should not think about hands. Dammit. Get a grip... Now maybe if I put them up just to her cheek or behind her neck… _

She suddenly pulled away, looking up questioningly. "Are you alright?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

_Dear God that kiss must have felt really weird for her_.

He nodded, feeling the heat in his face that must have turned crimson red by now.

_Just say something... anything_.

Instead of doing so he just smiled an apologetic smile and moved a little away from her.

"Fitz? What's the matter?" she asked him, trying to close the distance between them again. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

He nodded, thinking about how he should tell her that this wasn't something he had had experience with. "It's just... you know… I've never… really done that before, that's all." he answered shyly.

"What? Kissing?" she asked curiously.

He bowed his head and looked away from her embarrassed.

"But we've kissed before?" she said. "I mean not… like that..but…You mean you've never…?"

He shook his head. "No... You're the first…"

"Oh" she said, breathing in loudly. "That's okay. Nothing to worry about, really." She smiled at him, moving forward to bring their mouths together. "We can work on that, you know."

He laughed, leaning forward to meet her lips, but when she was about to deepen the kiss, he pulled back, looking up at her. Her eyes were once again fixed on his as he was trying to catch his breath.

"Sorry" he muttered. "It's just… that I … am not really great at this. At kissing I mean."

Jemma softly smiled at him, caressing his cheek. "You're not as bad as you think you are, Fitz."

He laughed at her, thinking back to a moment he would rather not have experienced. "_Riiiiight_. Remember that I once had a date with that girl back at the academy. Nancy. She asked me out and you talked me into going out with her. So I did. It was actually a nice evening and when I wanted to lean in to kiss her I was so nervous and sweaty and then I made the worst thing you could imagine in that moment" he said and took a deep breath. "I … puked"

"You ...what?In her face?" Jemma whispered shocked.

He shook his head. "I reacted quickly and was able to grab the bag where we carried the leftovers of our dinner… But the bag was full with food and it kinda… hit her dress and only a bit made its way to her cheek. But she was so grossed out that she took a cab back home alone. I offered to pay for the laundry costs and the cab, but she didn't even want to talk to me anymore…"

_Oh dear god, why did you tell her that? Do you want to gross her out too?_

He could see that she was doing her best to suppress laughter as she was looking at him. "Erm.. Well, that's … too bad it didn't work out, but…" a stifled laugh escaped her mouth. "First kisses are overrated anyways."

He tried his best to shake off the memory of his first date and smiled back at her apologetically. "So… whenever I do something that feels … weird or strange… just tell me, kay? 'Cause I honestly-"

"Please stop it, Fitz, would you? It's really not that bad, okay? And even if it was, I wouldn't care. You're a wonderful person. Smart, funny, cute. You understand me and I understand you. I don't expect you to be perfect at everything, as I am clearly not either. Besides… I think you're cute when you're nervous and unsure of what to do. " She said and moved closer to him again. "And I've already seen you puke, so don't worry about that. " She whispered.

_God, you're really lucky to hav- Ouch!, _he thought as Jemma pinched his arm.

"What was that for?" he asked surprised and rubbed the spot she had attacked to soothe the pain. "That hurt!"

"That was for lying to me back then at the academy. When I asked you how your date went you only said 'as expected' That didn't even come close to what has happened." She said, still laughing.

He laughed too, trying his best to brush away the memory of Nancy and her disgusted face.

"You're not going to puke now, are you?" Jemma asked teasingly.

He looked up surprised, trying to concentrate on her instead of the Chinese noodles that came back up that day . _No more noodles, _he thought and looked at Jemma. Her eyes were glimmering and she had that smile on her face that he learned to love over the years. She smelled like vanilla and not at all like Chinese food as he breathed in.

"No" he said, leaning in to her. "I …actually wanted to continue with what we were doing before we talked about vomit." He whispered back and he saw her cheeks go red. His heart beat increased and his hands were even sweatier than before, if that was even possible.

_Alright, Fitz. Let's do this. No more thinking about hands or noodles. Just…about her. _

She smiled, closing the distance between them as she crushed their lips together once again. This time, nobody pulled away. It was slow and hesitant at first, but it soon turned into a longer, more passionate kiss. Her lips felt soft and oh so gentle against his. And he wanted more.

Suddenly lips weren't enough anymore and he found himself on top of Jemma, his hurt arm pressed in between them, as he deepened the kiss. His other hand found its way to her cheek, softly stroking away the loose strands of hair that were falling in her face. One of her hands was gripping his curls at the back of his head while the other was resting on his back. Both of them did their best to pull him as close as possible to her. His broken arm was pressed in-between them again, hurting a little bit as he was laying on it with his full weight. But he couldn't care less. All he could think about that moment was Jemma and how good it felt to be so close to her.

After a few minutes, they both let go of each other breathless. He lied himself down right next to her, grinning goofily as Jemma cuddled up next to him with a similar smile on her face.

Still out of breath she said: "Now that wasn't bad at all, was it?"

He grinned, pulling her closer to him as he put his hand on her hip. "No, not at all" he repeated and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead.

After that they stayed silent for a few minutes, regaining their breath again and enjoying the feel of each other as she was lying in his arms. Her head was resting on his shoulder and every time she exhaled, the air tickled his skin. He had goose bumps all over his body.

"So you're okay with keeping this between us…for now. Not long, just a week or two…" she said, turning back to the subject they had been talking about before their heated kiss.

He nodded, absently tracing patterns on her hip. "Yeah… wouldn't know how to tell them anyway. I mean do we just … blurt it out. Like 'hey can you hand me over the butter please. Oh and Jemma and I are dating, thank you for the butter."

Jemma laughed, snuggling into him. "I don't really know… But I think we should say a little bit more than 'thank you for the butter'."

He grinned into her hair, drawing circles against her hip which made her shiver slightly. "I think that you should probably do that. You know, to avoid unnecessary awkwardness. I'll be at your side of course, but I'd stammer and nobody would know what I wanted to say." he said.

She smiled into the crook of his neck, planting a soft kiss in it. His heart was still beating heavily against his chest, as was hers.

"Do you want to finish the episode?" he asked, looking for the remote that must have fallen out of the bed during their heated moment.

"Sure, if you want to. I'm not that tired." She said and turned over to reach for the remote that has landed on the floor.

She immediately snuggled into him again and rested her head on his felt good to feel her warm body pressed against his. Even her good smelling hair that tickled his nose, didn't bother him.

It has been a long time since he had felt this happy. The grin that spread all over his face, remained there the whole time they were watching the episode and didn't even go away as his eyelids grew heavier.

When he finally fell asleep, the smile didn't vanish either even though he dreamed about a noodle monster with a dozen arms.

* * *

This hasn't been the end yet, I've decided to prolong my story, so there's still one more chapter to come :)

And this has been the first time I've tried to write about two people kissing and I honestly have no idea how it turned out, so please let me know what you thought about it. I'm open for tips and criticism :)

Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay, I was on vacation and after it I had little time to write. But here's number 8! **

**Again, I do not own AoS.**

* * *

**Jemma's POV**

The next they they had little time to see each other; both were kept occupied till the evening. Jemma was in the lab, finally having received an assignment from Coulson and Fitz had physiotherapy which he attended with delight. As always, of course.

They met at lunch, but unfortunately everybody else did too. That left them with May, Coulson, Skye and Trip and with little possibility of a private conversation.

Jemma tried her hardest to keep their façade up to still be "just friends", avoiding thinking about the events of the previous night. But that was easier said than done. When somebody tells you to not think about an elephant, it is sheer impossible to not do so. And boy did she think about yesterday. She remembered the way his lips had touched hers, his warm body pressed against hers…she wondered if they'd do this again tonight.

_No. Stop. thinking. about. it. Otherwise you'll drop something again, like before in the lab. _

When Coulson had finally gave her a task, nothing big, but something that'd keep her occupied, she had been happy. It had been a long time since she had worn her safety goggles and latex gloves to inspect something under a microscope. And now that she was finally able to do so again, without having to worry about Fitz, he found his way once again in her mind. This time tough, her thoughts weren't pleading, they were joyful and happy and excited. In the morning she had to remember herself more than just once to concentrate on the task and not on his soft, warm lips that seemed to make her forget everything around her.

_Again. Stop._

But anything was better than having to listen to Skye while she was talking about …Now what was she talking about again?

_Concentrate Jemma! Listen or else she will totally ask you what's wrong and then she will see right through you!_

She bit her lip, trying to focus as she nodded to whatever Skye was telling her. "And then that idiot really thought that I liked that stuff and bought me a purple unicorn with a glittering saddle."

_What the hell?_

"And that was the story of how I ended up pretending to like that ugly piece of a stuffed toy. He even wanted me to name that thing, such a creep. "

_I hope this day is over soon, can't wait to be alone with… no don't go there again. Dangerous territory. Oh wait, I think I have to say something to her story or she will notice that-_

"Simmons?" she heard Skye say and she immediately turned her head to look at the hacker. _Darn. Too late._

"What?" she asked in a slightly higher voice than usually. Dammit. Why couldn't she talk normally like everybody else? Fitz was doing alright after all…

And then she noticed that she had avoided looking at him for the entire meal. And she knew if she'd glare in his direction now, her façade would be off in an instant.

Skye had a confused expression as she was mustering Simmons intently. Jemma felt the heat rushing to her face and her legs were nervously tapping the floor.

"Were you listening?" Skye asked, not breaking eye contact with her.

"Of course I was" she spoke, her voice being higher than ever. "And what did you call it?" she asked, being glad that she had heard the last two sentences of this rather weird story. "The unicorn, I mean"

_Why must my voice always sound like that when I'm trying to sound normal? ….Hold on..Actually everything _**_is _**_normal.. isn't it? You don't have to pretend that everything is alright, because **it is**. We are all just having lunch together, like always._

Skye just should not know of her and Fitz right now. Well, not only Skye. Also the others, of course. Fitz and she were still in the "testing phase" of their relationship and she wanted to make sure that they'd work out everything that still lied ahead of them without anyone interfering.

"Henrietta. I called it Henrietta" Skye answered and Jemma nodded with a forced smile on her lips.

"Now that is a nice name." she stated, trying her best to act as if nothing was wrong which obviously didn't work because Skye gave her a weird look.

"Are you alright?" Coulson asked, stopping Skye before she could ask the same question. "Cause you sure as hell don't look like that"

"Oh, yes, yes. I'm fine really. It's just that the food is kind of spicy" she quickly answered without thinking.

"Spicy?" Skye said and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You are eating pudding."

Jemma looked down on her plate, realizing that she had already finished the main dish. _Bloody hell._

This couldn't get any worse. Everybody was glaring at her and she so badly wanted to glance at Fitz right now so that he'd help her out of this odd situation. But she didn't dare to look up again, smiling weirdly while poking around in her dessert.

* * *

**Fitz's POV**

_I can't believe she just said that,_Fitz thought. She really was a bad liar if not the worst. And improvisation was not her greatest strength either.

But Coulson was right. She didn't look anything but alright. Jemma was as red as a tomato, as if she had a temperature above 40 degrees Celsius. Her hair was a mess, because she had absently twirled it around her finger, loosening her braid and her other hand was holding a spoonful of pudding, shaking slightly. Her foot was loudly tapping on the floor, making everybody glare at her.

He wanted to help her, but he didn't really know how to get her out of this. So he said the first thing that came to his mind, not thinking about his words.

"Jemma's allergic to pudding. She always gets a rash when she eats it. You know… She always blushes like that and then the rash spreads all over her face. Pretty disgusting if you ask me." He blurted out.

Everybody on the table turned around, now facing him with weird expressions. Coulson nodded confused, Tripp was eyeing him and Jemma intently while Skye sat there with her mouth wide open and a look of disgust on her face. May was the only one who didn't stop eating and was chewing a piece of cake silently, glancing at him.

"Why would she eat it then?" Trip asked and Fitz could feel the sweat increase in his hands.

He didn't have to think of an answer though, because Simmons blurted out:" Because I love it" and shoveled three big spoons of pudding into her mouth. "Can't get enough of it. It's really worth the rash."

Nobody dared to say anything to that and they were deciding on whether they should believe the poor lie or not. Or whether they even wanted to know the truth.

It seemed that they decided for the latter, acting as if nothing had happened, not asking any further questions. The awkwardness didn't vanish though and everyone stayed silent, hoping that this rather weird meal would come to an end soon. It started with a story of a purple unicorn named Henrietta with a glittering saddle and ended up with a scientist who claimed to be allergic to pudding.

Fitz looked at Jemma apologetically, to tell her how sorry he was for the "rash lie", but she just shrugged her shoulders, informing him that it had been worth a try and that she wasn't mad at him.

He breathed out relieved and concentrated on his food, like everybody else around him. It was as if the cake and pudding were the most fascinating things in the world.

Simmons was another story though. She obviously couldn't handle the silence and blatted out: "Fitz and I are dating and I don't get a rash when I am eating pudding!"

_So much for keeping things between them,_he thought, although he didn't really care now that it was out. Anything was better than a pudding rash, really.

Skye reacted quickly and started "whooping" loudly. May wore a slight smile on her face and Coulson nodded, not giving away any emotion. He tried his best to stay professional, but after the previous conversation this was hard to do. Tripp murmured a quiet "about time", although he didn't look as cheerful as Skye.

Koenig, who had witnessed the whole scenario in silence, spoke up and made Fitz realize that he hadn't noticed him entering the room. He was still eating the main dish unlike everybody else so he must have joined their lunch a bit later. Or he had just been hungrier. "You do know that there is an anti-fraternization rule, do you? Well, technically you aren't on the same team now with him being still in physiotherapy and all, but you do understand as soon as Fitz is back on his feet that you'll be assigned different teams to work in, right?"

Fitz's mouth fell open as did Jemma's. That was not going to happen. He would not let it come to this. Jemma had always been his lab-partner and nobody would take her place. Nobody. But he didn't even have to counter Koenig, because Coulson spoke up immediately.

"I think you forgot that I am the director, Billy. That means I get to make all the important decisions and as it turns out I made a few improvements to that rule. It now says that if team members get romantically involved, they are allowed to work with one another if their relationship doesn't interfere with their work or bothers other team members. And I am sure that Agent Simmons and Agent Fitz are professional enough to do so. Their work is valuable to S.H.I.E.L.D. and we all here know that they perform better when they work together." He stated with a small smile on his face.

Koenig didn't say anything else to that and started to stuff the food on his plate as fast as he could into his mouth.

Fitz could have hugged the director right there and then, but he kept himself together. _Act professional,_he reminded himself, but couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. Jemma had a similar expression while Skye was literally jumping up and down in her chair asking how and when and what had happened and that she wasn't going to go unless they told her every little detail.

Coulson and May got up and left the room, Koenig soon followed silently. That left Skye, Trip and FitzSimmons, although Triplett seemed to speed up his eating, trying to leave as soon as possible too.

"Sooooo…" Skye started. "Who's gonna be the narrator or will I have to worm everything out of you?"

His glance met Jemma's and she nodded in is direction, silently telling him that she didn't mind if he told Skye.

"Alright" he sighed, actually being glad that he could prolong his break from physiotherapy. Gianni had told him to come back as soon as he finished his meal, because he had prepared a special exercise for his leg muscles. And if his physiotherapist said "special" it was going to be torture for sure. That's why he was quite keen on delaying his training even if it meant to answer all of Skye's embarrassing questions.

* * *

**That's that then! **

**Thank you for reading and as always I look forward to hear your opinion on this chapter. **

**There's only one chapter left and the way things are going it should be up in about three days or earlier. :)**


	9. Epilog

**The very last chapter, as promised! I hope I didn't forget anything *crossing fingers* **

**At this point, let me all thank you for supporting me and reading my story! **** And a special thank you goes out to all of you who reviewed! I love you and thank you for the butter!**

I clearly don't own Agents of Shield. But I wish I would. I wouldn't have to wait for the next season to know what's going to happen. That's really torture.

* * *

I think one of the reasons we are interested in reading stories is to escape reality for a second. We can forget our daily problems and live in another world, as somebody else, where we are confronted with a whole lot of other difficulties. For me it is really interesting to read a book, as it feels like you're visiting another mind with different thoughts and perspectives on life.

Another reason we read and write stories is the ending. Don't we all just want everything to turn out great and good in the end? Everyone wants a happy ending, but sometimes we don't get one. Sometimes the author reminds us of the cruelty in the real world and that occasionally, things don't turn out the way we wanted them to.

But that's life. Sometimes we get what we've craved for and other times our hopes are crushed and we are left devastated. And it's on us how we'll proceed from there on.

What do we do when everything falls apart? Do we mourn and cry over lost and past things? Are we trying to fight and take back what was once ours? Or are we moving on, looking for something else that is worth fighting for?

It doesn't matter what we'll choose, as long as we can live with our decision. As long as we're happy with it.

* * *

Jemma and Fitz decided to fight for one another. They saved each other's life more than just on one occasion and over the years they lost count on it.

It took them almost everything to realize their feelings for each other.

For Fitz it had been the chitauri virus and Jemma's jump out of the bus.

For her it had been a container and the biggest sacrifice someone could ever make.

She knew right then and there that she would not be able to live without her longstanding partner. The romantic feelings though, took a little longer to reach her consciousness , but in the end they did. And after she was able to let go of her fears, they finally, finally were what he so long wanted them to be.

They agreed to keep their relationship between them for a few weeks, but that did not really work. Jemma was a bad liar and even worse at keeping things. Ironically she was a Secret Agent and her work included to keep secrets. Fitz had always wondered how she had been able to do that, when she failed at hiding ordinary things. But maybe her drive for knowledge prevented her from spilling out secrets, because if she wouldn't have kept her mouth shut, she wouldn't have been trusted with something else. Another reason might be that she would not have considered these "secrets" as what they really were. For her it had become almost normal to deal with dangerous, highly classified substances and information and she had always been able to share that with Fitz, because he worked at her side the whole (damn) time.

To return to their relationship, Jemma simply blurted out that they were dating over a rather weird meal at lunch. Coulson assured them that if they were able to separate their work from their love life, there wouldn't be a problem.

Fitz still had physiotherapy to attend, but slowly returned to the lab again. At first he was helping Jemma with simple tasks that would not require much time, but later he would join her to work by her side just as he always had. Normality began to settle down in the secret S.H.I.E.L.D. base, as Coulson did his best to rebuild the fallen organization.

He did, of course. As if Fury would have given him this task without knowing that he wouldn't succeed. It just took him some time and a lot of energy. And even though he struggled with some problems of his own, caused by the GH-325, he overcome it and found a way to deal with it.

Time went by and the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division slowly improved its reputation again and moved out of the secret base in the mountains into a proper building with a much bigger lab.

Agent Triplett was one of the first Agents, alongside Agent May, who were back in the field while Jemma and Fitz decided to stay put in the lab. Fitz still wasn't able to run properly, well fast enough to escape and for long distances if things went wrong, therefore he was not even taken into consideration to join a mission in the field. And Jemma had no intention to leave him alone. They have had their adventures together and she was glad that they had grabbed the chance when they had been offered to join the BUS, but she was also happy about the fact that she would not have to worry about Fitz getting hurt in the field again.

Skye did both, she sometimes went onto missions with Trip and May and otherwise she was found in her office, (yes, she got her own) or at Coulson's side. She was still a hacker after all, and once you find a preference in cracking codes, you are unlikely to stop.

So FitzSimmons did what they were best at. Working alongside each other in the lab, bickering and talking over each other during the day time. In the evening they too were FitzSimmons, but in a totally different way. They stayed with each other despite all odds and fears and fights, even though they sometimes felt like throwing a microscope at each other after a heated discussion on who was right or wrong.

But that was how things had always been between them.

* * *

And when Fitz asked her, nervously stammering with hands so sweaty and shivering that he had problems finding the ring he had bought in his pocket, if she wanted to marry him, she didn't have to think twice before she fell into his arms, exclaiming a loud "Yes". And now that his rather complicated sentence is over, and yes, I left it that long on purpose; Jemma and Fitz were engaged, discussing how and when they'd marry.

They weren't sure whether it was best to marry in the UK and if so in Scotland or in England or if they should do the ceremony in America. They spent many weeks discussing this matter, finally deciding for the town where Simmons had grown up.

Invited were a few friends from the academy although Jemma and Fitz knew that they wouldn't travel that far, but it felt rude not to invite them. The only friends from the US who really showed up on their wedding day were Skye and May. Trip had been tied up with business matters and wasn't able to attend and Coulson, as the new director, tried to find space in-between all the work that had piled up on his desk, but unfortunately there were a few problems regarding a highly classified mission and he couldn't join either.

The ceremony was short, but beautiful and Jemma was glad that she survived it without tripping.

Fitz and she were glad when that day came to an end so that they could finally relax and be with each other. They headed on to a romantic hotel to spend their wedding night with view on a small lake. After a week, they visited Fitz's mother once again and flew back to the US a few days after.

* * *

But soon their family plans stood in the way of their career at S.H.I.E.L.D. When Jemma brought the subject up that as soon as they'd plan on brining a child into this world, she would not be able to spend the whole day in the lab as she did now and she didn't want their child to grow up without ever seeing their parents. To put it in a nutshell, she wanted to leave the organization and look for another job.

Fitz disagreed with her, reassuring her that if she'd get pregnant, S.H.I.E.L.D. would find a job for her that didn't require that much time.

She failed to understand, was it out of stubbornness or because she simply didn't want to work there anymore, his insistence in staying there. That day they had one of their worst fights they would ever have.

He didn't want to leave the organization that made him the man he had become, because he felt like letting down his friends, especially Coulson if they left.

She countered, telling him that they had been at the new director's side the entire time and that he'd understand if they wanted to raise a family, because S.H.I.E.L.D. after all, was an organization committed to its purpose and not something you could call family friendly. Their relationship had been accepted, because of their valuable work. Work that required big amount of time. Time that they would need to raise their children. For her there was no other way, she had set her mind to leave and Fitz could do nothing about it, she had told him as she had stormed off, out of their apartment. And if he felt so obligated to stay, he could if he wanted to, she had yelled. She would look for something else and if he would go with her or not, was his decision alone.

He had taken a long walk that day, thinking about her words and their future. He had spent so many years working for S.H.I.E.L.D. that it just felt wrong not to. The time he had spent at the organization influenced him, but so did Jemma. And obviously it was out of question that he wouldn't leave with her. He loved her way too much to ever let her go.

But he came to the conclusion that he had never, once even thought about leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. and that he had pictured himself as an old professor at the academy, teaching children with Simmons about their inventions. But now that she had made clear to him that she wouldn't want to be a teacher and that she had no intention of giving up the work in the lab, that picture had shattered.

And suddenly his future was uncertain and blurry. And change would once again dominate his life.

When he came back home that day, he found Jemma already home, who too had taken a walk to calm herself down. She had cried, obviously. Her eyes were red and tissues were lying around her as he entered the living room.

They talked, this time without yelling and shouting and he apologized, as did she. Fitz admitted that he was afraid of what the future would have in stock for them and told her about how he had always imagined them to work side by side teaching young intelligence.

She smiled at him, taking his hand in hers, laying out her version about their future and how she wanted things to go. She too pictured them working together, but she said that for now, she didn't see herself become a professor and that she still enjoyed the work in the lab with him.

That night, ironically, they unknowingly took the next step in their marriage and the discussions on how to proceed and where to go ended abruptly. Three weeks later Simmons broke him the news.

"Fitz..." she said quietly with a pale face and shivering hands. "You know I have been kind of sick in the morning the past few days…I …I think I found out why."

He couldn't follow her, as she told him to better sit down. The way she looked at him he feared the worst and thought that she had caught a bad virus or an incurable disease. But to his relief it was nothing like that.

And when the words: "I'm… pregnant" left her mouth, he found himself all over her, hugging and kissing, grinning from ear to ear. As soon as she saw his happy expression, she too smiled widely and her fears of his reaction were forgotten immediately.

The job change was suddenly not the right time, because she could and would not want to start somewhere new when she was aware that she'd soon have to stay at home over a long period of time with their child.

The couple decided to speak to Coulson, who congratulated them and organized a third biochemist who would work with them in the lab. (So that when Jemma had the baby, this scientist would take her place, but just as compensation and only for a limited time as Coulson emphasized to calm down Fitz)

Their new colleague turned out to know what he was talking about and was a good choice, although Fitz knew that the new guy would never be able to replace Jemma.

For the first year after their child was born, Fitz stayed at S.H.I.E.L.D. while Jemma was at home. (He did although take time off too to help her. He filled her in on all the things he was working on, to keep her sane and she helped him with the work)

But while he was still employed by S.H.I.E.L.D., he and Jemma both looked for another job, this time in the UK. But she had to admit that is was hard to find the right one who would still allow her enough time for their child.

In the end, they agreed on working in some small lab, where the salary was promising, but soon they would find out that the facility they worked in now lacked the equipment they had been used to. So after two years of adjusting to the newer, not at all exciting job, they did end up as professors at the academy and moved back to the US. There they still had access to the lab and from time to time, they'd be found there bickering loudly over a new idea.

Then the next baby followed and the visits in the lab decreased as they'd be more interested in the ideas of the young, new students and of course, their own two children.

Despite the fact that they had become professors, they stayed in touch with Skye, who even became the godmother of their second-born and worked at the side of Coulson. From time to time they even got a call from the director who checked in to ask how things were going and rarely required help with a classified scientific problem which they were eager to get their hands on.

* * *

As they were preparing for another class, Jemma asked him: "Did you really think that we'd end up here like that?"

Fitz just smiled and nodded at her. "After our first day of work in the UK, I knew we'd somehow find our way back here. You?" he answered. .

"I always thought we'd return to England. But I'm quite glad that we came back here" she admitted. "That was the last place where I saw myself, to be honest. I liked being in a lab way too much to ever consider teaching. But it's better than I expected. And of course, we still have access to the lab." She said and grinned back at him.

And when they entered the lecture hall, they both couldn't stop themselves of thinking back to the day they had met in this very room, many, many years ago. This was where everything had started.

But that is a totally different story to tell.

* * *

**Yep, it's definitely over now. Today I'll go away, but I'll be back another day! And that last sentence may or may not mean a possible story that I'm going to dedicate my time to. For now there's some other idea stuck in my head, that can't seem to go away and that, I'm afraid, is not about FitzSimmons.**

**But, as I am clearly an obvious shipper of these two, I can ensure you that there will be more stories about them in the near future :)**

**Thanks again for all my readers! And as always, I love hearing your thoughts no matter if good or bad.**


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